My March challenge is to go for a walk everyday, which has been wonderful and I would love to continue well into the future. However, there is a problem that I didn’t fully anticipate with this plan… being outdoors, alone, when I’m terrified. One of the reasons I wanted to walk everyday in March is for some alone time, so the solution for me is not just to enlist a partner.
Everyone has different reasons for being afraid to be alone outdoors, like wild animals, dogs, or in my case, I’m just afraid of people and being attacked and overcoming that fear is what this post focuses on.
My first thought was to invest in some pepper spray or bear spray just for the feeling of security, but sadly, in Canada the rules around that kind of thing are pretty murky. And in this instance, I would literally be carrying it for self-protection, which is fully illegal.
So, I had to come up with other ways to give myself a feeling of security and ease into it. halfway through this month, and having deal with this particular fear for years, here are my top tips.
- Tell someone where you’re going and how long you think you’ll be gone for
This one is easy and actually the safe way to operate instead of just a comfort measure. Even if you were just to fall and sprain your ankle, someone should know where you are. I find knowing that someone knows where I am makes me feel safer. Even if something terrible were to happen, after a couple hours, help would be on the way.
2. When getting started, go at a busy time of day
Personally I feel much safer when there are either lots of people or no people at all. The worst case scenario is when you see only one or two, cause that means they know you’re there and they also know that nobody else is around. But going for a walk in the local conservation area on a Saturday at 2pm when the sun is shining means that it’s full of families and people walking their dogs. Even if you do run into a stranger alone, you know there are people everywhere and chances are you’re safe. Once you have a bit of confidence being alone, you can go on weekday mornings and feel comfortable.
An alternative to this is going for a walk in your neighbourhood or a busy part of town, with lots of traffic and other pedestrians. Getting comfortable being alone in general can come before being comfortable alone and away from other people.
3. Don’t let the paranoia take over
Everything is easier when you go in with a good attitude. My part of the world is actually a pretty safe place, and kidnappings and assaults by strangers are rare. Instead of letting yourself go down that road 25 minutes into a walk in the woods, just remind yourself how unlikely it is that someone is waiting for a victim to walk by their hiding spot. Once you’re looking over your shoulder every 10 seconds and jumping at birds chirping, you’re too far gone to recover. Trust your instincts, but don’t go overboard.
4. You don’t need to be friendly
If someone tries to engage you in conversation and you aren’t interested, just disengage. There is no need to tell them how often you come here, if you’re new to the area, if you like the view, what time it is, have you seen their dog, whatever else. There is nothing wrong with being rude to someone who is making you uncomfortable. Just nod, walk away. It might seem scary or nerve wracking but asserting yourself shows that you aren’t a victim. Even if that person had ulterior motives they would pass you by because you aren’t making it easy.
5. Don’t be on too much of a schedule
Personally, I never go for the same walk at the same time of day a bunch of times in a row. Not because I actually think that someone is watching me, but because it plays into the paranoia aspect. If you’re always doing something different, it’s highly unlikely that that guy you’ve seen with his golden retriever twice is biding his time. I like to walk locally, but I’ll mix it up by driving somewhere further away, or I’ll stop on my way home from work at a trail that looks promising. Be a loose cannon and you can talk yourself out of the crazy thoughts you have.
That being said, it is also just safe, much like telling someone where you’ll be. Crazy people are rare, but that doesn’t mean you need to be their perfect victim.
6. Bring your dog
Do you have a dog? Bring them with you. You aren’t really alone, but you aren’t tied to another person’s plans and wishes either. A dog can be a bit of a security blanket. Plus, other people don’t know if they’re as tough as they look!
7. Stop watching crime TV shows
And reading crime books. And clicking on terrible news stories that happened halfway across the country or world. I’m talking Criminal Minds, James Patterson, clickbait. These things are designed to scare you, and watching fictional serial killers plan their next attack on a victim who is REMARKABLY similar to yourself isn’t healthy. And actually a little creepy to get a thrill out of that, but that’s another topic. There is a difference between being informed and being inundated with every terrible thing that could happen to you next time you leave your house. A local serial killer? Stay informed. A fictional one? Pass. Not healthy. Keep in mind those TV shows show lots of people being kidnapped unexpectedly as well, so just because the bad feelings creep in when it’s dark or you’re alone, you aren’t actually safer at home.
8. Just do it, and relax
You want to live your life in fear? Or more likely, not live your life out of fear? The world is full of amazing and beautiful things to do and see, don’t let unfounded fear hold you back from enjoying nature and fresh air.
That’s basically all I’ve got. Personally, I’m still afraid fairly often, but it’s gotten better. And it IS worth it. Being afraid of doing things you love is a terrible way to live your life. Everything comes with risk and you just need to decide that the risk is worth it to you while minimizing where you can. The reality is, you can be in the wrong place at the wrong time anywhere so just do what you want.
The Avery Spectacle 