The therapists of the world like to say you should “sit in your feelings” and resolve them but I find that not every feeling is valuable and sometimes I just need to be redirected. This article could apply to anger, anxiety, sadness, or any other emotion that you want to channel into something productive! You’ll end up getting a lot done and by the time you’re finished, the bad mood has usually somewhat lifted.
Clean your bathroom
Clean your kitchen
Cook a new recipe, preferably one with lots of chopping
Write down everything that’s bugging you
Go for a walk
Go for a run
Reorganize your desk
Clean your fridge
Write a blog post on redirecting your day 😛
Start any home project you’ve been putting off
Wipe down your baseboards: to be clear, this is a task that can ONLY be completed when you’re angry
Wash your walls: another great RAGE task
Laundry
Get inspired, download Pinterest again
Workout
Read a book you already love
Wash your dishes
Bake something
Do any and all of these tasks while listening to a great playlist!
Just a list of things that have been consistently putting a smile on my face these past few weeks! Enjoy, and maybe make a list of your own. Nothing like catalog of tried and true happiness triggers.
My March challenge is to go for a walk everyday, which has been wonderful and I would love to continue well into the future. However, there is a problem that I didn’t fully anticipate with this plan… being outdoors, alone, when I’m terrified. One of the reasons I wanted to walk everyday in March is for some alone time, so the solution for me is not just to enlist a partner.
Everyone has different reasons for being afraid to be alone outdoors, like wild animals, dogs, or in my case, I’m just afraid of people and being attacked and overcoming that fear is what this post focuses on.
My first thought was to invest in some pepper spray or bear spray just for the feeling of security, but sadly, in Canada the rules around that kind of thing are pretty murky. And in this instance, I would literally be carrying it for self-protection, which is fully illegal.
So, I had to come up with other ways to give myself a feeling of security and ease into it. halfway through this month, and having deal with this particular fear for years, here are my top tips.
Tell someone where you’re going and how long you think you’ll be gone for
This one is easy and actually the safe way to operate instead of just a comfort measure. Even if you were just to fall and sprain your ankle, someone should know where you are. I find knowing that someone knows where I am makes me feel safer. Even if something terrible were to happen, after a couple hours, help would be on the way.
2. When getting started, go at a busy time of day
Personally I feel much safer when there are either lots of people or no people at all. The worst case scenario is when you see only one or two, cause that means they know you’re there and they also know that nobody else is around. But going for a walk in the local conservation area on a Saturday at 2pm when the sun is shining means that it’s full of families and people walking their dogs. Even if you do run into a stranger alone, you know there are people everywhere and chances are you’re safe. Once you have a bit of confidence being alone, you can go on weekday mornings and feel comfortable.
An alternative to this is going for a walk in your neighbourhood or a busy part of town, with lots of traffic and other pedestrians. Getting comfortable being alone in general can come before being comfortable alone and away from other people.
3. Don’t let the paranoia take over
Everything is easier when you go in with a good attitude. My part of the world is actually a pretty safe place, and kidnappings and assaults by strangers are rare. Instead of letting yourself go down that road 25 minutes into a walk in the woods, just remind yourself how unlikely it is that someone is waiting for a victim to walk by their hiding spot. Once you’re looking over your shoulder every 10 seconds and jumping at birds chirping, you’re too far gone to recover. Trust your instincts, but don’t go overboard.
4. You don’t need to be friendly
If someone tries to engage you in conversation and you aren’t interested, just disengage. There is no need to tell them how often you come here, if you’re new to the area, if you like the view, what time it is, have you seen their dog, whatever else. There is nothing wrong with being rude to someone who is making you uncomfortable. Just nod, walk away. It might seem scary or nerve wracking but asserting yourself shows that you aren’t a victim. Even if that person had ulterior motives they would pass you by because you aren’t making it easy.
5. Don’t be on too much of a schedule
Personally, I never go for the same walk at the same time of day a bunch of times in a row. Not because I actually think that someone is watching me, but because it plays into the paranoia aspect. If you’re always doing something different, it’s highly unlikely that that guy you’ve seen with his golden retriever twice is biding his time. I like to walk locally, but I’ll mix it up by driving somewhere further away, or I’ll stop on my way home from work at a trail that looks promising. Be a loose cannon and you can talk yourself out of the crazy thoughts you have.
That being said, it is also just safe, much like telling someone where you’ll be. Crazy people are rare, but that doesn’t mean you need to be their perfect victim.
6. Bring your dog
Do you have a dog? Bring them with you. You aren’t really alone, but you aren’t tied to another person’s plans and wishes either. A dog can be a bit of a security blanket. Plus, other people don’t know if they’re as tough as they look!
7. Stop watching crime TV shows
And reading crime books. And clicking on terrible news stories that happened halfway across the country or world. I’m talking Criminal Minds, James Patterson, clickbait. These things are designed to scare you, and watching fictional serial killers plan their next attack on a victim who is REMARKABLY similar to yourself isn’t healthy. And actually a little creepy to get a thrill out of that, but that’s another topic. There is a difference between being informed and being inundated with every terrible thing that could happen to you next time you leave your house. A local serial killer? Stay informed. A fictional one? Pass. Not healthy. Keep in mind those TV shows show lots of people being kidnapped unexpectedly as well, so just because the bad feelings creep in when it’s dark or you’re alone, you aren’t actually safer at home.
8. Just do it, and relax
You want to live your life in fear? Or more likely, not live your life out of fear? The world is full of amazing and beautiful things to do and see, don’t let unfounded fear hold you back from enjoying nature and fresh air.
That’s basically all I’ve got. Personally, I’m still afraid fairly often, but it’s gotten better. And it IS worth it. Being afraid of doing things you love is a terrible way to live your life. Everything comes with risk and you just need to decide that the risk is worth it to you while minimizing where you can. The reality is, you can be in the wrong place at the wrong time anywhere so just do what you want.
I went to write this blog post and had to change the title, it’s a leap year! 29 days this February.
For 2020 I decided to do something new every day for each month. I have been such a ball of anxiety for the past few months that I decided to continue my destressing January resolution (yoga) with meditation for February!
Previously, I hated meditation when I tried it. I found that it got me more anxious and my mind would wander to places that weren’t helpful for destressing. That being said, I probably wasn’t trying very hard if that was the result haha. Also, you’re supposed to learn these skills so that they’re easy when you need them! Trying to learn to meditate in crisis mode probably won’t work.
Meditation is definitely having a moment right now, especially in the “wellness” space, and it is actually something that isn’t expensive and out of reach. Plus it can be done any time and anywhere, which was really appealing to me. Although I loved yoga, it was definitely a time and place commitment.
I started meditating just whenever it worked for me in the day at the beginning of the month, which gradually transitioned to doing it every night before bed.
Not for long, definitely no more than 10 minutes total, but I did find that it got easier and easier.
I’d been reading so much about meditation and listening to podcasts where it was mentioned that I didn’t feel the need to do a tonne of research before getting started.
Basically, you focus on your breath and feeling your body move with your breathing, and when your mind starts to wander you bring your focus back to your breath.
Another helpful trick I learned was to “label” any thoughts that did manage to sneak through. For example, I found myself thinking of words or phrases that I heard Venetia Falconer say on her podcast, Talking Tastebuds, with Michael Miller. This would immediately bring me to other episodes that I had listened to, yada yada, rabbithole.
Once I started to “label” my thoughts, I found this lessened. When I would think of something to do with this meditation podcast, I would consciously label it as “instructional.” I didn’t know much about meditation and so I was bringing in all the knowledge that I had about it, while I was doing it.
Counterproductive!
Labeling really helped with thoughts that would keep coming through no matter how hard I focused.
So, was it helpful? Life changing? Am I a new person?
Sadly, no. I think people who are that affected by these things must either be hyping themselves up or incredibly unintentional in their day to day life.
But! I did find that I fell asleep faster and slept better in February than I had in the previous few months. I also was able to bring in the breath work that comes with yoga and meditation when I was feeling particularly anxious, which for me is often when I drive.
So all in all, I would call that a success. I am going to continue meditating before bed, and maybe try out one of the apps that are available.
Now that the truly dark days of winter are over, I’ve set up walking every day for my March theme. Lots of health benefits, and a great way to enjoy the nicer weather. So far so good!
Here I’ve linked Venetia’s website: https://www.venetialamanna.com/ where you should be able to find out more about her and her podcast.
Best cure for a blah mood in February is a warm, sunny day.
SAD is real people! We don’t know what causes it, but most theories point to sunlight.
So bundle up, go for a walk, and take as much advantage of the daylight as you can. Only 25 days til Spring…
On a cheerier note, my 3 things a day is going pretty well this year. I went to work, went for a long walk in the conservation area, and now I’ve written this blog post. Move, do, create. 3 things that I figure give me a lot of leeway and keep my day on track a bit, doing things that are actually important.
This year I decided I need to read more, the way I did when I was a kid. My brain used to feel so sharp, but when I’m only absorbing cheap entertainment like Instagram and TV I just feel dull and blah. So starting in January, when I had the urge to pick up my phone or watch TV, I would open a book instead.
This was made a lot easier by having a plethora of reading material available. My grandmother used to take out 5 or 6 books at a time from the library so that she would always have something that interested her. If you don’t like it, there’s a backup book! The urge to finish everything you start reading makes it a chore instead of a joy, so I adopted her method.
So far, mission successful! I’ve read about a book a week this year which feels really good. All my classes this semester require reflective writing as well, and there is no better inspiration for writing than other people’s work. I’ve basically only read informational texts for the last few years, and the news. Makes for a pretty boring attitude towards writing when it is purely educational.
I started with an Irish theme, and found myself reading a book that I’ve picked up and put down at least 5x. Really sweet book, and it felt like an honest look into the time period and people’s daily lives. I’d highly recommend it to anyone looking for a warm, funny book that isn’t complete fluff.
“Sharp, jazzy, hilarious, and often painful . . . you’ll rejoice in this wild song of a book”
-Frank McCourt
This quote by Frank McCourt on 44: A Dublin Memoir led me to his memoir, Angela’s Ashes. This one was a little sadder, a little more desperate, and also hilarious, which might be the Irish way? It is set in Limerick, Ireland, and similarly details Frank’s childhood.
Unfortunately, after a little research I discovered that it wasn’t exactly an accurate portrayal of his childhood. Apparently they weren’t that poor, which just makes it seem like he was capitalizing off of other people’s misery in order to write a bestseller. Meh.
The next one just caught my eye while I was looking for Angela’s Ashes, and there is no deeper reason to pick it than I liked the cover. I also love Ann-Marie MacDonald, and Adult Onset is her latest novel. I didn’t realize how few books she had written, but I have loved all of them. Adult Onset was very similar to her other books, in that it details a family in past and present and revolves around long buried secrets. It was kind of interesting that she chose to look at it from the parenting perspective this time around, because her other books have focused mostly on the child I find.
The next book I read was a little fluffy and was also selected because I liked the cover. Crow Lake by Mary Lawson is another story that goes back and forth in a family’s timeline and that of their town to get to an answer. Really enjoyable, I read it in the span of a day.
And finally, my favourite book of the year and definitely a contender for all time. This was wild, and completely unexpected every step of the way. It took a bit longer to get through because if I was tired or not totally fresh minded, I had a hard time focusing on everything it was trying to say. I feel like this book was written by somebody who’s brain just works in a different way than mine, because half the stuff he came up with and the way that he writes is totally foreign. A real pleasure, I couldn’t recommend it highly enough. It was filthy though, so if you’re not into that than maybe leave it on the shelf.
Now I’m reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac, because he was mentioned in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues and I’ve never read any of his work. Enjoyable so far, but not what I expected. I’m just happy to be reading at all if I’m perfectly honest. I think next on my list is some more Tom Robbins, and a book set in Joshua Tree, because I’m going there in a few weeks and it seems fitting!
Usually this type of quote makes me roll my eyes but these past couple days have brought me to a similar line of thinking. Tough pill to swallow, and it’s not even the first time.
2020 is here and I’ve completed my first 30 day challenge.
This year I decided that I’m going to do something new every month for 30 days. Not exactly an original idea but certainly a lot of fun.
For January I started small, 30 days of yoga. I loved following Yoga With Adriene a few years ago with a friend and I am always looking to be more flexible. As it turns out, 30 days of yoga is pretty easy but 30 days of yoga following a structured video plan is not.
I found that while I was off school, it was very doable. All I had to do was work and then I would have another 16 hours in my day where I could fit it in. I was totally consistent for the first 18 days. Once I started school however, it became much more difficult. A 30 minute video is just not something I want to do after going to school all day followed by work. I realized that rather than pressure myself to do yoga (something that should be enjoyable) it is much more manageable to do a quick 5 minute video-free routine before bed and than indulge in one of Adriene’s videos on a day when it was subtracting stress rather than adding it in.
I think this is pretty common when people are trying to improve their health: focusing on the task rather than the goal. Yoga shouldn’t be stressing me out. Obviously if I want to get to bed for a full eight hours sleep, forcing a session to “relax” isn’t going to be effective. On the other hand, yoga instead of TV most certainly would be.
The physical benefits of regular yoga were very evident, which is a relief for someone who couldn’t touch their toes until they were 18. I felt calm, flexible, and was less sore for the most part. “Connecting with your breath” is also something that I found I could access whenever I was stressed or anxious this month, but I wouldn’t think to do it without regular practice.
Big takeaway: I enjoy yoga, but not in lieu of sleep and not everyday. I’ve penciled it into my calendar every three days for February, which is much more flexible.
Happy birthday to me…! This was a decent year, and the next will be even better. I’ve set a few goals for this year, split into groupings.
Last year I was pretty focused on just getting by. I barely had the bandwidth to function day to day, let alone plan far enough ahead to solve any real issues. The things I achieved were done out of necessity and could have been a lot more efficient if I had enough time and money to take a breath. But this year is starting strong and I’ve decided it’s only going to get better.
This year, I’ve decided on 4 focus areas, all of which connect nicely.
1. Financial
2. Health
3. School
4. Creativity
I’m starting with finances because when you’re focused on surviving, you can’t grow in other ways (Thanks Maslow’s hierarchy of needs!).
Once I’m financially secure, I can focus in on my health. Once I’m feeling good, I can be successful in school and have enough energy to devote to my personal projects.
My financial goals aren’t very complicated, really I just want to be able to cover all my bills. Starting in the new year, I want to be saving $500/month minimum. This money will go towards boat life and just general financial security for next year!
FINANCIAL
Be able to cover all my bills
Have consistent income
Starting January: save $500/ month
Be able to buy a sailboat in the spring, live on it for the summer.
Health isn’t very complicated either, just want to go to my appointments and get my teeth cleaned. It’s been over 3 years since I’ve had any preventative dental or eye care! And my prescription isn’t cutting it anymore. One of the hardest things I’ve dealt with over the past few years is stress and anxiety, which really affected my sleep and my ability to problem solve. I’m committing to active stress management because I never want to feel like my life is snowballing again.
HEALTH
Dental appointment
Optometrist appointment => new prescription => new glasses!
LASIK eye surgery (this one might be a pipe dream $$$)
Get active every day
Gym 3x/week
Sleep well, consistently
Anxiety and stress, keep it lowwww
Heavy on the fruits and veggies, low on the junk
For school, once again, I’m keeping it chill. Above 85% average, very doable in my program. Consistent study habits, kinda necessary for the over 85 average. prepared for clinical in January? I hope so!
SCHOOL
Consistent study habits
Above 85% average
Feel prepared for clinical placement in January
And finally, my most exciting goal section. This is where I’ll be focusing most of my blog attention, most of my emotional energy, and hopefully (!) it will be a real way for me to relieve stress and keep myself out of my own head. Creating things is the most satisfying feeling and also a good way to keep your skills sharp.
CREATIVITY
Start my ocean quilt
SDH personal project
Plan for my boat life
Plan my garden
Plan my homestead
and keep writing this blog!
Improve photography and editing skills
Sharp skills are what I’m really aiming for this year, although that may be hard to read if you don’t know what my last few years have been like. I want to be disciplined, purposeful in my acts, and capable of planning ahead and achieving what I set out to do. I want the things that are necessary for day to day functioning to come easily by the end of this year.
The Avery Spectacle 